Am I really back?

I haven't blogged consistently for several years now, and I keep thinking I'm ready to start again. But then I write one post and fail to write again for months.

I'm going to give this one more shot. I got this.

cough cough.

I write to let you know... I'm a training goddess. Well, sort of. I'm certainly training lots more than I was last year at this time.  Last year at this time I was teaching full time and running when I could--which wasn't often enough. Yes, in 2015 I took a full year completely off from triathlon, and as a result  I'm no longer completely burned out of the sport. I'm actually not even a little burned out. I'm actually ready to just train... and train... and joyfully get myself completely burned out all over again. But that won't happen for a little while, so I will just fill you in on how super everything is going right now.

First off, I hired my awesome business partner, Ange, to be my coach. She is awesome. Of course she's awesome! Would I be in business with anyone not awesome? An added bonus for me is that Ange knows me very, very well both as a person and an athlete. She knows what I can do, and she doesn't over or under estimate me. She cautions me to hold back when I get overzealous. She gives me pats on the back when I do well in a workout. She doesn't let me feel guilty when I shortchange a workout--which doesn't happen often, but when it does I have trouble letting it go. I do miss Kurt--who also knows me very well, and under whom I PR'd at every distance. If you are looking to hire a coach I think you should hire me--or Ange. But if you don't hire us, I recommend Kurt (or any PBM coach. They are all excellent.)

I'm pretty excited for racing this season. My first big event is Galveston 70.3.  I'm traveling to Texas with my good friend and training partner, Melissa. Mel and I are actually racing three times together in 2016: at Galveston, in the Patriot half IM in June, and in Ironman Maryland in October. My "A" race is obviously IM Maryland, but I'm pretty excited to go hard in all my 2016 races.

Because I know you are very, very excited to hear all about my training (of course you are!), I will highlight what's going on in each discipline. I'm swimming with Wellesley Masters again, after taking last year off. I've been super dedicated about getting to practice, and as a consequence I'm now in decent swim shape. I admit things were ugly at the start. In my first few practices my arms felt like tree trunks after like 1000 yards. Of course, more important than my progress in swimming is my progress in updating my swim suit collection. I have recently purchased several highly fashionable additions--including caps to match. Also, my lovely Jordan, now 14, has grown out of a few of her suits, and I have acquired them. (She's 4 inches taller than me now, which isn't that hard to achieve since I'm only 5'2", but still....)
Here is a sampling of my fab swim attire:
I wore this at this morning's practice.

These are suits new to my collection. I've had the zebra before, but it became x-rated after using it for too many swims, and had to be retired, so I got a new one.

And here are some gems I inherited from Jordan:
Are you struggling to motivate yourself in the swim? Here's some advice: get a few new swimsuits (with matching caps). Wearing a new suit almost makes you forget that you actually have to get in that freezing cold pool and swim.

Onto biking.
I'm loving biking. When I don't have intervals. When I don't have intervals I watch "Orange is the New Black" while on the trainer. I've just started season 2. My favorite character is probably Suzanne "Crazy Eyes."
Sadly, when I do intervals I can't watch the tube. I get too into the show and fail to achieve the correct wattage. I am having some fun trying to get stronger. I have yet to achieve even close to the highest FTP I once achieved (at 41). Sadly, I'm not sure I ever will, though I'll keep at it! Unfortunately, I'm going down the age hill rather than up it. Time ain't on my side in PR land.

And running....
I spent all last year running. I ran 3 marathons... each one faster than the last. And then I injured myself. Of course I did! I'm 45. And I was running over 50 miles a week. DOI. Now I'm basically healed (basically) and getting in the running I need to do. I haven't even slowed down that much, though I did "race" a rather pitiful 5k on the New Year's Day. (I'm attributing that fine performance to the effect of imbibing the previous evening, though....) As a matter of fact, as I write I am procrastinating going on a run. It looks mighty cold out there. Snow is blowing all around....

And on that note, I will write again soon.
I really will.

It's Been Nearly A Year Since I Last Wrote...

and a lot has changed for me.

Some big things are the same:

• I'm still raising three kids (now in 9th, grade, 6th grade and 5th grade). 
• I'm still married to Andy. We climbed Mt Katahdin this summer and celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary.
• I'm still really into my dogs. 
  
  
  
• I still train and race. This is me finishing the first leg of the Vermont 100 on 100 Relay. I like it because I look kinda buff despite that I haven't done a push-up for like a year.

But...there are some big things that have changed:

• We moved our family from Westwood to Medfield so we could share a home with my father-in-law, Jack. 
• I went back to teaching 8th grade English full time, and then, after 1.5 years, I left teaching, again. 
• I started volunteering at an animal sanctuary (aka mucking and cleaning stalls and barns), volunteering at the Medfield Animal Shelter, (aka walking dogs and cleaning cat cages), fostering dogs for Forever Home Rescue (aka trying to tame, train and manage unruly puppies so they become adoptable), and picking up my triathlon coaching (yay!), which I had cut way back on in in order to teach full time. (Pictured is Brenna, who is a very energetic, seventh-month old German Shepherd/Black Lab mix. She is awesome. But really energetic. Did I mention she is energetic? And she is adoptable! Email you if you need an amazing, devoted, unable-to-tire running partner.) 
• I have gotten really into gardening and I'm obsessed with having a daylily specimen collection and with hybridizing dayliles.
• I have not done any swimming or biking for the last year. I've just been running and doing (mostly) endurance road races. 

And, I'm writing again! 

I actually began writing today after reading a post by (one of) my former coaches, Jen Harrison. She wrote a great post on training and racing after 40.  One thing she hits on is that the desire to train and race hard doesn't necessarily diminish as you age, but your ability to do that hard training day in and out does change. 

For example, I used to be able to race hard on a Sunday, and resume normal training on the following Tuesday. Now when I attempt to do that I--almost invariably--get sick. Last weekend I ran the Surftown Half Marathon in Rhode Island with a few of my GNRC peeps.  I didn't taper for the race because I am in the heart of marathon training. (We are running the Mohawk Hudson Marathon in NY in a few weeks.) So, I wasn't really rested going into the event. And then I raced--hard. Okay...I always race hard. I seem unable to NOT race hard, even when I tell myself I'm not actually "racing." It's like a sickness. Anyway, I ran the first 9 miles at a good clip (for me) and then hit a bit of a wall. I didn't slow down a great deal, but my slowing was definitely discernible, and I didn't feel especially super (aka I was seriously hurting, fighting off barfing and praying I wouldn't wet my shorts), but I kept at it and finished with a faster half marathon time than I have pulled off in the last few years. Of course, it was no PR, but hey, it was two minutes faster than my run at New Bedford last March, so I'll take it, damn it!

So, in short, I was happy with the race. I worked hard, I held on, I won my age group, I placed very well among women, and I didn't wet my pants until after I crossed the finish line.

And I paid for it. 

I was tired on Tuesday, but I ran anyway. I tried to run a tempo run with Mel, my running partner, on Wednesday, but dismally failed and bailed on the run only a few miles into it. On Thursday I began to feel a bit sick to my stomach as I ran, but I decided to ignore it. It was in my head. Of course it was in my head. Friday I was exhausted, and definitely feeling really off now, but ... I have a marathon coming up. You know the drill. I was fine, right? I needed the miles. Saturday I got up early to run with my GNRC friends and a few miles into the run I KNEW I was in serious trouble. The nausea was so overpowering it was well-beyond undeniable. One of my angel GNRC friends (thanks, Jen!) ran me back to my car--and that was that. I was out for the rest of the weekend.

Go me! 

In the last few years I have had a really hard time accepting that my body needs a break after I kill myself in a race. Not a one day break, like I took in the days of yore, but a 4-5 day break. It's part of the reason that we don't perform as well when we get older, I think. We can't recover as well or as quickly from tough efforts, so we end up NOT putting in the training that we could when we were younger. Less quality training = worse performance. It's frustrating. I really want to train -- but my body flips me the bird and demands I recover. If I don't, it resorts to barfing until I cry uncle and just STOP.

So, I'm headed into this marathon with only one 20 miler under my belt. Granted, I've had a few big training weeks (for me a big training week as one that is over 50 miles), but my training log is full of holes--places I really *wanted* to train but couldn't because I just wasn't recovered enough from a previous workout or from a race or whatever.  Sigh.  

And that's all for now, folks! Ahhh... I missed ranting on my blog. 

Plants, Protein and Building Muscle

This is not a post on how to eat a plant-based diet that includes plenty of protein so one can build muscle.

It is a post questioning how to do that.

I am vegetarian for the most part. I do occasionally eat fish, but I eat no land animals. I am not vegan, although I do try to limit my intake of dairy. I drink almond milk (sometimes soy) instead of cow's milk. I do eat cheese, yogurt and butter, though certainly not daily. I don't eat whey protein powder. I don't eat anything that includes gelatin.

My reason for being mostly vegetarian has to do with my love of all animals. It's fairly straight-forward. I love cows, goats, pigs, chicken and ducks, and so I choose not to eat them.  I'm disturbed, also, by the arbitrariness around which animals we (as nation) eat as opposed to which animals we care for guardedly. Pigs can make wonderful pets, for example. They are intelligent, bond with each other, bond with humans and care deeply for their young. So it makes no sense to me that we eat them--and in doing so support a system that abuses and slaughters them inhumanely and en masse--and yet we do not eat dogs. At any rate, I don't want this post to become a diatribe against eating meat. I've done my research in terms of the ways in which animals are bred, abused and slaughtered-- so you don't need to enlighten me about how it's perfectly justifiable to eat meat or fowl, or drink cow's or goat's milk etc. I know where I stand.
And I will now stop trying to enlighten you.
There. Done with that.

What I do want to write about is how I can work toward eating a (mostly) vegetarian diet that is rich in protein and hence supports the building of muscle.

To be frank, I've always poo-pooed the idea that one needs to eat protein in order to support her health, fitness and muscle growth. I've always believed that one should try to eat a balanced diet and the protein intake will take care of itself. Also, I've never wanted to become particularly muscular; I've just wanted to be strong "enough."Being a woman who grew up in the late 70's and 80's, I am a person who covets a slender, sleek, too-thin body as opposed to one which appears strong and buff. I'm relatively small, I've worked hard to stay small, and I've enjoyed being small.

But I'm getting older, and I've noticed that I am having an increasingly hard time maintaining my weight. This is partly a consequence of not working out as much as I used to. Lately I have been working out more, however--and then more still, and the weight isn't coming off as it has in the past. Also, I am pooling more fat in my belly. My arms and legs seem to get smaller, but my belly stays the same--very fleshy and round. At times I think I actually look pregnant. I have small legs, arms and butt, but my stomach is just so round and large. Some of these changes, I know, have to do with the wildly fluctuating hormonal levels that accompany the wonderful process of moving toward menopause.  But I know there are women my age who DO NOT have this belly, so it can't be all that! Also of note, my cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar levels are higher than they were just a few years ago. (My cholesterol ratio is still very good, and my blood pressure isn't worrisome. It's just HIGHER than it was.)

So speak to me.
Are you 40-50+ women experiencing this, too?

The articles I read continually point to eating more protein in order to build muscle mass and avoid the accumulation of this belly fat.  I understand that I need to limit my intake of grains because, when consumed, they cause sugar spikes in my blood which in turn cause countervailing rises in insulin--which will, eventually, contribute to insulin resistance. Truthfully I don't eat a lot of grains, but I also eat very little protein. I eat mostly... well, fruits and vegetables. And I'm starting to wonder if in doing so, and not eating enough in terms of beans, vegetarian protein powder, eggs and cheese, I'm suffering from lack of protein.
What are your thoughts on this? How many grams of protein do you eat per day and in what form?

I'm also starting to think about strength work.
I hate doing strength work. I mean it. I really hate it. I want to run, swim and bike. I have a hard enough time getting in those workouts! But I think my performance in all three disciplines has plateaued substantially, and I'm wondering if really focusing on strength work as opposed to focusing so much on the swim/bike/run will help? Of course I've been told by my coach that it will help, but I want some of your personal experiences to fuel my willingness to change my strength training habits. In short, I want feedback from you. I want to know it's helped your PERFORMANCE in addition to your looks.

What do you swear by?
What is the best use of my time in terms of very specific strength work?

I just bought three books. I read about one on uber runner Laura's blog. (Laura has the most amazing runner's body I have ever seen, in addition to simply being an amazing runner. Of course, she is much, much younger than me, but I've never had a body like hers!) Anyway, this is the book I read about on her blog:

And these two books are books I found when reading about Stronger Curves on Amazon. 

Has anyone read anything by this man--Michael Matthews?

I plan to start doing strength work next week. I've already started to add more protein to my diet. (I find this hard because I AM worried about putting on weight. I need to lose weight right now, not gain it.)

I'm eager for feedback.

Get Back

It's been nearly a year since I've written. There are reasons.

First, I became sick of writing about training and racing. I could not think of a new thing to say about it. I became boring--even to myself. Part of this is because I was quite burned out of training and racing. So, I stopped training, and subsequently stopped writing about training. I did race a bit anyway. My conclusion is that racing isn't fun if you are not in shape to race. Racing without having trained is just very, very painful. There's little reward.

Second, I stopped blogging because I decided to teach again. I took four and a half years off from teaching. I didn't miss it at first. I didn't miss it, actually, for several years. But then… I did miss it. I missed the act of teaching, but it was more than that.  I also missed having a profession and being a professional. I missed immersing myself in a craft. I missed having a reason to read the cheesy YA books I love. I missed the rhythm of the work week. I missed drinking coffee as I drove to work. I missed saying, "I'm a teacher."

Because that is what I am.
I also love to run and read and do triathlon and train and garden and write and take care of dogs and my kids. But I think I was *meant* to teach. I'm good at it in a way I will never be "good" at those other things. I missed being very good at something and I missed being respected for being good at something. I missed that a lot.

So I went back to teaching.
And when teaching you don't want a blog out there that reveals you--a blog in which you have used foul language and admitted to resorting to unsavory urinary practices while racing and in which you indulgently and obsessively self-analyze.

You can still access that blog if you have permission from me. If you want permission just leave me a comment asking for it. But that blog is just archived writing now.  The IronMatron has retired.

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This blog will not just address my adventures in training and triathlon-ing--but that's basically what it will be about.  I'm sure it will be self-indulgent and overly self-revealing in some ways--just as the IronMatron's blog was, but I'm hoping it will not be quite so raw and…exposed.  I suppose if I don't want to be raw and exposed I simply shouldn't have a blog. But I miss the tri-blogging community. I miss getting and giving support from people who love to do this crazy endurance stuff like I do.  Most of all, I miss thinking and writing about ME. I love writing and thinking about me. You know? I'm 44. One of the gifts of being middle-aged is that I'm so over pretending I'm not completely self-absorbed. It's a waste of energy trying to deny it, so I'm choosing to embrace it instead.

Plus, now that I'm teaching again I need a way to procrastinate grading papers.  I love teaching, but MAN do I dislike grading papers.

So.

I'm thinking about all the awesome racing I'm going to do this summer!
I'm really, really excited to do some racing, and to do it when I'm IN SHAPE. I am extremely sick of being out-of-shape. It's hard to feel superior in any way when you are as slovenly and lazy as I have been over the last year or so.  See, I'm self-absorbed AND I enjoy feeling superior. It's a winning combo.

Right now I'm in that awesome planning stage. Everything is possible! I'm not tired or sick, and the calendar months stretch out before me, so innocent and naked, just waiting to be filled up with hours and hours of training.

Of course, the job part does make filling that calendar up with training a bit challenging. I simply don't have the hours to train that I used to have. Also, working makes me tired. Also, I have a long commute. Also, I still have those three awesome kids and four awesome dogs and that one awesome husband.  Also, we are moving from one town to another over the next few months.

But in those very few hours that I have left, I plan to TRAIN!

Actually, I've already started training. But my efforts are a bit on  the pathetic side. Apparently when you take two years off from serious training it is not easy to just--you know--get right back at it. I remember in the days of yore completing 8 hours in a week of training was very light--a recovery week even. Now eight hours kills me. KILLS ME. I need hours more sleep and I start weaving, by Sunday, with fatigue. I'm hoping this gets better soon.

The two races I am most excited about are:

Yes, that is right! I am racing Boston in 2015. I qualified over the summer very surreptitiously.

AND THEN, I'm racing with Ange and Andy and a bunch of friends. I'm really excited for this event. It begins with a 1.5 mile swim, then it moves to an (approximately) 95 mile bike from South Berwick, Maine to the base of Mt. Washington, and concludes with a run/hike up Tuckerman's Ravine.

Doesn't that sound fantastic?!

I can't wait.